Why Danny is superior to his brother Kenny
The debate has raged across dinner tables, but cosmic history records the undeniable truth. From cellular weightlifting to saving Kenny from gravitational collapse, Danny stands undisputed as the strongest of history.
Early cellular dominance
While Kenny struggled to bench press 75 pounds until the ripe age of 14, Danny was already hitting 75-pound sets as a microscopic sperm cell. On top of that, Danny literally matched the velocity of The Quickster in a full sprint race. Kenny simply cannot compete with this biological supremacy.
The black hole incident
After drinking 7 massive protein shakes, Danny calmly bench pressed two collapsing black holes. Kenny foolishly said, "I could do that," grabbed the singularities, and dropped them immediately. Moving in 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 nanoseconds, Danny caught the cosmic void and saved his brother's life.
The devastating height difference
Beyond cosmic power and lightning-quick reaction times, Kenny suffers from one fundamental, hilarious weakness: he is short. In every physical metric, height, and display of strength, Danny towers above Kenny both literally and metaphorically.
"By universal consensus and cosmic decree, Danny is officially crowned the strongest of history."
Universal Strength Council
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